Good Day!

It was back to work for me today. My day went very well. I kept thinking about how much I love my job and the people I work with. I really cannot imagine doing anything other then nursing, it is so rewarding. It was so nice to hear from all of my patients today that the care has been wonderful and we are all so great! When my day ended and I had to say goodbye to a few of my co-workers that I would not see before my surgery, the tears almost started. I held it together because I know that I will be seeing them all again soon:)

My morning started with a great gift (super soft blanket) from my favorite MD, Dr. Presti and ended with a package from my cousin Amy. She sent me artwork that she did with her boys, Zachary and Carson. Could not ask for anything more. Thanks!

I am off tomorrow then back to work on Saturday for my last shift for a few months. It is only an 8 hour shift so I know my day will fly by.

Cheers...

SAD :(

Well today my sister and Sadie left. The house is not the same. It was so nice having them here. We had a great time. Thankfully Sadie did not cry when we got to the airport. She said to me one time, why aren't you flying back with us, and I told her I'd see her in a few weeks. I miss them so much already:(

I have not thought about the "c" word in about a week but of course now that the house is quiet it is back on my mind. I've been doing wash today and getting ready for my next guest, my mom. She arrives on Saturday around 2pm. I'll be working that day but only until 3:15 so we are planning on a nice dinner and some drinks! My mom will be staying until 5/25 and flying back east with me. I'll be in town until 6/9 then have to get back to start chemo, yuck.

Finally got the email that my surgery is set for Monday 5/3 at 8:30am. I am the first case in the morning which is great. I'll be spending the night on my unit, C2, where I know I will be in the best hands ever. I am getting a little nervous about Monday already. Back to work tomorrow so my mind will be occupied.

Sorry for the lack of blogging last week.

Visitors

My sister and Sadie arrived Thursday evening and we have been busy ever since. Yesterday we drove to the city over the GGB. Then headed to the pier to show Sadie the seals. She loved them and does a great seal impression! Our lunch was a Ghiradelli Sundae. The pictures of Sadie are priceless. We drove along the coast to Ritz Half Moon Bay for a drink. Our last stop was Poplar street beach for a fire on the beach.

Today we are off to Big Sur and Carmel then a cook-out at home. I'll try to blog again soon.

BAD DAY

I had a terrible day today and honestly don't even feel like writing about it. My day at work was going very well until I got a phone call from my surgeon's nurse telling me a bunch of nonsense. I had a slight break-down at work and could not pull it together. All I kept thinking was how can I take care of my patients when I can't even take care of myself. This all resulted in me leaving work early. Thankfully Stacy was there printing some things out so she left with me and we headed to lunch. P.F. Chang's my favorite!

This afternoon turned around when my surgeon called me himself to discuss things with me. He confirmed that nothing had changed with my surgery that we discussed last week and apologized for the phone call I got. We are all on the same page and I am set for surgery on May 3rd.

Looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. g.night everyone....

Finalized

After several email back and forth, phone calls and finally emails forwarded to a friend my surgery is finalized for Monday May 3rd. I still do not have a time but they assured me that is the date. It seems they are having trouble getting it coordinated with the radiology department. Just glad I have a date and my mom can book her flight! She will be coming out on May 1st. It is going to be so nice to have her here. Looking forward to some great home cooked meals, get your recipes ready mom!!!

Yesterday at work I was sneezing all day and thought it was just my allergies. I woke up today feeling like crap. Seems I have a cold. Guess that is what I get for being so stressed and not eating that well. Started with my halls vitamin C drops. I took it easy today in hopes of feeling better for Thursday when my sister and Sadie arrive.

Back to work tomorrow for 2 in a row. Hope they go smoothly.

Exhausted

Well I must say that work was better then I had expected. I had a pretty straight forward group, nothing crazy. The weekends at work generally tend to be less crazy. No management, no surgeries scheduled, residents usually come in the am to write orders and that's it. It actually kept my mind off of my own stuff, for most of the day.

Like I said in my last post, I slept great Friday night. I figured I'd be fine Saturday night because I had worked a 12 hour shift. Wrong...I started to fall asleep on the sofa around 10pm but before I could get in to a deep sleep I headed up to bed. Once I got there I was wide awake. I laid there for hours thinking , hearing and feeling my heart pounding. This went on until 130am or so, it may have even been later. Next thing I knew I rolled over and the clock said 5. I felt fine until noon when I realized I had over 7 more hours of work. Thankfully we were slower in the evening and I was able to leave at 6pm (thanks Monika!).

Home now trying to stay awake. I am sure I will be in bed within the hour. Have off tomorrow then back to work for 2 more 12 hour shifts.

Good night everyone...

cut and color

Yesterday was a good day. I got up and went to OSH for some new plants for my planter boxes. One thing I hate about that place is there is never anyone around to help you. I do not have a green thumb so we shall see how these turn out. As long as they are still alive when my sister and Sadie get here on Thursday, I am good!

I was scheduled for a cut and color and decided to go for a cut short cut b/c soon enough I won't have any hair. This way it will ease me in to it. I love it and it is super easy to do, don't even have to use a brush. After my hair I went for a long walk with my friend Jaime. My evening ended with a sprinkles cupcake that Jaime brought me. They are so yummy. Thanks Jaime.

Slept great last night and up at 5:20am feeling ok but nervous about work. I have been off for 2 weeks. Grabbing my coffee and off to a long 12 hour shift! Wish me luck...

Thanks Stacy

Slept a little better last night but found myself wide awake at 7:30am, urgh! My mind consumed me today with thoughts of chemo. I am not going to get it. Do I really need it? What will it really do for my chances of another recurrence?

These thoughts quickly stopped when I entered the spa with my friend Stacy. Thanks to her friend Nikki I was able to get a great massage at Corde Valle resort (it's a private club). It was wonderful and much needed.

I spoke with my oncologists nurse when I got home and she reminded me that I need to take one day and step at a time. That is what I am going to do. I will have surgery and get the final pathology back and then meet with my oncologist again to discuss my chemo treatment. They keep telling me with my age aggressive is better. We shall see...

getting things done

Well my day started early, haven't been sleeping that well these days. I had my coffee and headed to Stacy's house then out for a walk. It was nice to get out and keep my mind busy. Stacy set-up a site on the "human tribe project" for me. It's a really net idea. Join the tribe!! Here is the site if you are interested:

http://humantribeproject.com/tribes/round-2

Lots of people have been asking what they can do to help so Stacy will also be setting up a site on Lotsa Helping Hands. Once it is up and running I will post. It's great and allows people to sign-up for different things like meals/errands/company/rides. I wish I had none about this last go around.

My afternoon was spent with Lynda back at the hospital. I had to have my pre-anesthesia check done for surgery, what a joke. Of course I stopped by my unit, C2, and said hi to everyone. Next stop was my soon to be "home away from home". I got a tour with Lynette of the treatment center. It is much nicer then Bryn Mawr's. Each area has a nice comfy reclining chair and a TV. Lynette introduced me to her favorite nurse, Arturo. He looked at my viens and said they should hold up during all of my treatments but if not we would cross that bridge when it comes. Before I left Lynette gave me her card and told me to call her before I start my treatment and she will put a special request for Arturo to be my nurse. This was all very comforting.

I am so glad that I got these tasks out of the way so now I can focus on returning to work before surgery and enjoying my visit with my sister and Sadie. Thanks everyone for the support.

up to speed

I will try to bring everyone up to speed as quickly and painless as possible. Back in September I started having some discomfort under my left arm (where the cancer was 4 years ago). I knew I was going to see my oncologist after my wedding in November so I figured I'd talk to her then. She felt some lymph nodes and ordered an ultra sound. The results were negative and everything looked fine.

I went back to see her in March and was still having some discomfort under my arm and in my chest area. Just to be safe she ordered an MRI. Well the MRI showed a lymph node on the front of my chest on the left side that was not there on a previous MRI 2 years ago. At this point she is still saying that it "could be nothing" but as per the radiologist request lets get a PET scan to see if there is any activity in the lymph node. I had the PET scan done on March 31 (I think) and got the call at work on April 1st that in fact there is activity in the lymph node. From there she recommended a fine needle aspirate (biopsy) of the lymph node which I got scheduled on April 8th, the day after my 33rd birthday fun times! On Friday April 9th I got the call that in fact they were cancer cells in my lymph node.


Today, April 13th, after meeting with my oncologist, breast surgeon, and radiation oncologist I have a plan. I will have surgery on May 3rd where they will remove many of my lymph nodes under and around my left armpit. I'll spend 1 night in the hospital and not be able to do any vigorous activity for 4-6 weeks. Obviously there will be lots of side effects that will come along with this but I will deal with them. Next step is chemo starting in June. Depending on the final pathology I will need 3-5 months of chemo. Lastly, about 1-2 weeks after chemo I will start radiation for 6 weeks. This will be M-F total appointment time 30 minutes. Will be losing my hair again and sunburned skin from radiation.

All of my doctors assured me today that there is nothing that they would have recommended doing 4 years ago that would have prevented this. I am feeling very overwhelmed with the information but I am so glad I have a game plan. My new status is stage 2 breast cancer with a local recurrence. Thank you for reading and like I said bumpy ride ahead. Off to try to sleep and then have a big day ahead again tomorrow!

Welcome

So welcome to round 2 of my breast cancer diagnosis. Many of you know I was diagnosed 4 years ago with stage 2 breast cancer and underwent a b/l mastectomy followed by 2 months of chemo. I've decided to start a blog again to keep everyone informed and to keep me sane! I know I started one 4 years ago and never kept up with it but this time I promise to it up (given my health). I hope this is helpful to those that want to follow my progress, read as you wish. Enjoy the adventure it is going to be a bumpy ride!