relaxation day

We had a great time with my brother and Kelly. Saw so much in such a short time. After they left on Friday I met up with Jackie for a short walk and lunch. On Saturday I headed to Yosemite with Jill to her boyfriend Patrick's cabin. We got there around lunch, ate, and then went on a short walk/hike (10 miles short!!). On Sunday we drove in to the park for a long day of hiking. All I can say is wow, what an amazing place. Jill let me pick the hike and I think I picked wrong. The hike up the mountain was like doing the stair master outdoors. My legs are still hurting from that hike. Thanks Patrick and Jill for a great weekend. I got back yesterday afternoon. It was so nice to get away for the weekend, although I wish Mark joined us:( Today I had a relaxing day at home. The only errand I ran was food shopping. I cannot believe that I have another tx on Thursday. It will be number 5 so the future is near which is great! It has been nice being so busy but I am ready to relax this weekend after my tx. Having an ok day, a little depressed. Mark should be home any minute from golf. Write in a few days...

South Bound

Today we are driving down to Morro Bay for the night. We decided to get a head start on our drive to Santa Barbara. We'll be leaving here shortly. When we get there I plan to walk around, head to the beach, check out the town, while Mark golfs. Tomorrow morning after breakfast we will head down to Santa Barbara and plan to meet up with my brother and Kelly around noon. Once we meet them we are going to go to Inspiration Point for a short hike then hit the beach. I got in touch with a friend from high school, Mike Hill, that I haven't seen for years and we are going to meet up with him for dinner and drinks. On Tuesday morning we will be heading North to SLO to do some wine tasting then spend the night in Morro Bay. We will be back here on Wednesday. Nothing planned yet for Thursday and they leave Friday around noon.

I am doing ok. The back/bone pain ended on Friday. I went for a nice long walk with Jill and it hurt when we got back but then subsided. Yesterday I just decided to do a shorter walk. I have not really been thinking about this heart thing too much. One thing I did think about was back in November I was on my way in to work and had real bad chest pain when I would breath in so I went to the ED. They did some tests, not an echo, and told me everything looked fine. Of course my mind went to, if they had done an echo and the fluid was there then, obviously it is not caused from my chemo b/c I was not on chemo then. It stinks sometimes being a nurse and knowing the things I know. There is nothing I can do about it for another month so I need to stop stressing. I just never thought in a million years that the cardiologist would say the "C" word to me. I thought the worst he was going to tell me is that I had some damage to my heart. If the next echo shows more fluid around my heart then for sure I'll be worried.

I am so thankful that I have my brother and Kelly here this week to keep me busy and next weekend I am going to Yosemite with Jill until Monday. When I get back I have 2 free days then chemo again on Thursday. Time is flying by.

I'll write when we get back in town.

appointment

Well not only was I having real bad bone pain today but I had to have my echo done and see a cardiologist. I was planning to go by myself but given my pain, I called Mark at lunch and asked him if he could come home and take me. Of course his response was yes. I had my echo done first then headed up to see the cardiologist. It was great to have it all done in one day (had my stress test on Monday). The good news is there is no damage to my heart. The bad news is I have a pericardial effusion, or fluid around my heart. As a result of this I had an abnormal EKG and this is also why I have been having chest pain. This could, and hopefully is, all caused from the one chemo that I am getting. The other possibility is cancer. The doctor would like me to get an echo again in one month and if the fluid amount is the same or less I'll get another one in a month from that. Depending on what that echo shows I will either need another one in a month or he will push it to three months. If there is more fluid around my heart on the next echo in a month he will drain the fluid and of course test it to see if it is cancer. The only other testing I may need is anything additional that my oncologist may order given the test results (hope nothing is ordered). For now I am for sure not running and just waiting a month for my next echo. At this point I am not worried about it. Why be when there is nothing that I can do to change it. The fluid is there and there is nothing I did or did not do that made this happen. Just hoping that once I am finished chemo it will all be gone and I can move on. I can honestly say that going to the appt I thought for sure the doctor was going to walk in the room and tell me everything was normal and it was nice meeting me. Now I have yet another doctor to add to my list at 33, great!!!

Off to watch Housewives of D.C. and then to bed. I am getting together with Jill tomorrow and hoping to get a nice long walk in if I feel better. Really looking forward to seeing Jill and hearing all about her recent trip. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Cheers...

overdue

Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay. I had treatment last week and had my mom and sister in town until yesterday. Here is a quick recap:
Wednesday: My mom and sister arrived. Went to get pedicures, lunch, then did a wine tasting. Had dinner in that night and in bed early.

Thursday: Up early for chemo at Stanford. I was more anemic and had low platelets but nothing too serious. My oncologist told me that I need to stop running and take it easy so that I can get the last 2 tx. I was not happy about that but I guess I have to listen to her. I had a feeling that I was anemic b/c when I went for a run 2 days before my tx I got so winded so early in the run. I also had to tell her about the chest pain I had. The week before my tx I had some chest pain but thought it was muscular. Then while I was running it happened again and when I stopped to walk it went away. I thought this was important to mention to her. She ordered and EKG and told me she'd have her husband (stanford cardiologist) take a look at it. When I got home I got a phone call from his nurse telling me that the EKG was abnormal and he wants me to get a stress test and an echo and then see him. I had the stress test on Monday and get the echo today at 2:40 and see him at 3. I am not really worried about it but will be glad when I hear from him that everything was fine. Mark is leaving work early and taking me to my appt. I'll write an update tonight when I get home.

Friday: We took a drive to Napa for some wine tasting and a tour. We did the cave tour at Rutherford, it was real neat. That night we took Mark to the airport (he had his Reno golf trip).

Saturday: Got up and took a walk then my mom cooked us a yummy breakfast. My sister and I went and laid by the pool for a few hours. We headed to Lynda's house for some food and drinks with her and Rhonda. It was a nice night spent with the ladies!

Sunday: my down day:( I slept all day but thankfully had my mom and sister checking in on me, feeding me and giving me my pills. I love my fam.

Monday: Feeling better, took another walk in the am. I was not feeling that great so we decided to lay low during the day. Plus I had my stress test at 4 that day. We hung by the pool again for a few hours then headed to Menlo Park for my stress test. From the stress test we went and had a drink and an appetizer. We finished just in time to make it to our spa appts at Watercourse Way. It was so relaxing and wonderful. For the first hour we were in our private tub room that had a hot tub, cold plunge and steam room. Then the next hour we each had a massage. I think we all really needed them. At this point we were starving so we decided to go to Flemings for dinner. I was craving a nice steak. Dinner was great finish to the day.

Tuesday: We decided the night before that we would just get up whenever and decide what we were going to do when we got up. After breakfast we all agreed we'd head to Carmel for the day. Of course when we got there it was still chilly and cloudy. By noon the sun had come out. We did some shopping and walked down to the beach. I had to get back b/c I was making dinner for the gang for their last night. I started my sauce and then picked Mark up from the airport at 7. We had a nice dinner together but sad b/c it was our last night together.

Wednesday: Up early to take mom and sister to the airport. It was so wonderful having them here and a great distraction after my 4th tx. I am so blessed to have a great family. Can't wait to see them again.

Today: I am having bad back pain similar to the after the first treatment. Not sure why it would happen again this time and why a week later. I just took 3 advil and waiting for Mark to get here to take me to my appt. I'll for sure update later tonight when I get home.

Thanks for following.

honest

This post is going to be very true to what I am really feeling so if you don't like it, don't read.

I think about things and hear songs and I cannot imagine my life without Mark. I know he puts up with so much of my shit but I truly cannot imagine one minute without him. We are not the most "lovey dovey" couple but I know deep down in my heart that we are soul mates. He is my rock and gets me through so much. As hard as I am on him I cannot imagine my life with anyone else.

I will tell you that friends used to tell me, you'll know when you meet him, and I always thought they were full of s---. When I met Mark within minutes/months I knew that I'd be spending the rest of my life with him. We were only dating when I had breast cancer the first time and his love and support really made my thoughts come true that he was the one. I know I waited 7 years but it was well worth it. That is all of have to say for now but I had to give a tribute to my wonderful husband. I could not and would not ask for anyone else. I love Mark Lapole and looking forward to growing old with him.

update

So once again the days have gone by so fast. Monday I took the train the city to hang out with Andrea. When I got there we went to meet Tim, Andrea's boyfriend, for lunch. It was nice to finally meet him. The weather ended up being very nice, a little cold but the sun was out. I had a lovely day with Andrea in the city! Yesterday I spent the day food shopping, doing wash and got my last run in before chemo. This morning I cleaned then headed to the airport to pick-up my mom and sister. I am so excited that they are here. From the airport we went to Santana Row for lunch and then got a pedicure. We then went to Testarossa in Los Gatos for a wine tasting. On our way home we stopped at "nothing bundt cakes" for dessert for tonight. If you have not been you should find one and try them. They are so yummy, think I like them better then sprinkles. We are grilling out tonight and hanging out at home. My mom and sister have been up since 4am east coast time so it will be an early night tonight. Tomorrow we have to be on the road by 715am to get to the cancer center. I have labs, then doctor at 8:30 then chemo at 9:30. They moved my appts earlier so I am hoping that I stay on schedule and am out of there by noon. After chemo we are planning to have lunch at Stanford Shopping center then home to relax. Tomorrow night we are all going out for dinner as usual to celebrate finishing my 4th treatment. For now I am doing ok, not anxious or upset. I know having family here is really helping. I am so blessed.

I'll write again in the next few days. Cheers...

lazy day

This week really went by fast. I finally started to feel better on Wednesday. Sunday and Monday slept most of the day, more so Monday. On Tuesday I was feeling better, just depressed and talked myself out of doing anything. I was determined to get myself back to normal Wednesday and ended up on a 3 hour walk, much more like myself. I was super excited to actually have 3 chemo's down and only 3 to go but then I started thinking it is like I have to do it all over again. The thought just made me very upset. As most of you know I am not one to sit around so when I am given a drug that makes/requires me to sleep and sit around the house it is very upsetting. It is one thing if I decide to lay low for the day but another when I am forced to. I then remembered that my mom and sister will be here for my next treatment and my parents will be here for my last. I am so excited to have the company and can't be at better times. My mom and sister will be here in a week and a half. So excited! The end of my week went fast and yesterday me and Mark went to Pinnacles for an all day hike. Friday night I looked at the trail map and mapped out a 12.2 mile hike which sounded great. We were fine until we got to the second to last trail. It was a 2 mile uphill climb in mostly direct sun at 130 in the afternoon. Needless to say we had to stop every 10-15 minutes for a rest. By the time all was said and done we had hiked (pretty strenuous) for 5 1/2 hours. It really was nice. Today was painful getting out of bed and down the stairs. Not doing much but relaxing today, maybe making it to the pool. Looking forward to a week of feeling well. I'll write again soon.