Happy New Year

Well I sure am ready for a new year. And a healthy year. Although each day I still think about my health and wonder if the cancer is still there I know that will pass as time goes on. It will be even better once I get the results of my PETscan in Feb that I know will be normal. I am so thankful to have each day that I am given.

Wishing everyone a wonderful 2011 and thank you for all of your support in 2010.

Cheers

engagement

It is hard to believe that 2 years ago today me and Mark were out on a hike and he proposed. I had no idea it was going to happen. I was actually scheduled to work that day but got an "A" day. It was so nice and unexpected. We had planned to take the same hike today but the weather is not cooperating with us (rain). Instead I came up with the idea to go ice skating this afternoon. I have not been on skates since I was young so it should be interesting and hopefully we won't get hurt. Then we are going to a local winery, Testarossa, that we belong to for a tasting. From there dinner at Steamer's in Los Gatos which is actually where Mark asked my dad if he had his blessing to marry me. I am looking forward to a fun filled day with my wonderful husband. My life would not be the same without him. I am truly blessed. I love you Mark.

holidays

It has been a difficult few weeks for me. I've been a little depressed but pushing through. A few weeks ago I went to see my oncologist and was just expecting a quick, "you look great, see you in 3 months", visit but got more then that. I was overwhelmed by the information and things I needed to put on my "to do" list. The biggest challenge for me was my first zoladex injection. This shot will put my ovaries in a menopausal state for the next 5 years while I take arimidex, a pill that I will take daily. I have to get the shot once a month for the next 5 years. I was just enjoying the thought of being done with everything and then the thought of doing this every month really upset me. I've been handling everything really well (so I think) and then when it came time for this shot I lost it. I cried the night before and even after I got the injection I stopped by my oncologists office and talked to her and a few other people while I was there. Even cried on the drive home. I have no idea why it was so hard for me, I've done surgery, chemo and radiation, geez. One thing that made me feel better was hearing my oncologist tell me that I did not sign a 5 year contract and that if I want to stop at any point she will support me. She told me she'd obviously try to talk me out of it but she would support whatever decision I make. I think all of these feelings are happening because I am now trying to live a "normal" life. Not only am I trying to get back to normal but it is the holidays and we will be in California for them. To top it all off I had to have some dental work done which sounded like an easy procedure and ended needing a crown with crown lengthening (cut my gum, cut out some bone, and moved it to where the crown is to help hold it in place). The dentist told me today that it would not hurt that bad, b---s--- is all I have to say.

Sorry for venting, this has been building up for weeks. Although I will miss my family dearly, I am looking forward to spending Christmas Eve with the Cox's.

Happy Holidays to all:)

hello

I have had an interesting (not sure that is the right word) few weeks. I worked today and now it is late so I will write more tomorrow. Really looking forward to a relaxing weekend with Mark. Back to work on Monday:(

Night Night for now...

Happy December

It has been awhile since my last post. I've been super busy with family and friends. I got to PA late on Sunday 11/21 and it's been go, go, go ever since. Monday night I went over to my sister's house to see her and Sadie and Ella. We had a fun night, went out to eat and of course had a dance party when we got home. I love having dance parties with them! Think I love it more then they do:) Mark flew in that night so he was at my parents house when I got back. On Tuesday we went to Roosevelt Paper, where my dad works, to have lunch with him and meet his co-workers. They have all been praying for me so it was so great meeting all of them and I'm sure they liked putting a face with their prayers. From there we drove to Doylestown to visit Bubba and Jess (Bubba is Mark's college friend). They have 2 little girls, Olivia and Maisey. Jess and I enjoyed some girl chat while Mark watched the kid's. He was so nervous that Maisey was going to fall and hurt herself, it was so cute. We had a lovely dinner and drinks then headed back to my parents house. Thanksgiving we went to my Aunt Barbara and Uncle Jerry's house in Denver, PA. That is where we have been going for years. Mark and I have not been there for 3 years so it was nice to be back. It was me, Mark, mom, dad, brother, Kelly, sister, Sadie, Ella, cousin Jerry, Aunt Barbara and Uncle Jerry. It was a great day. That night we all went back to my parents house (minus Sadie and Ella) and played cards. Friday lunch was with my mom, Diane, Martie, Ron, and Maria. It was so nice to see all of them. For dinner we went out for Stacey's birthday which was on 11/20. As you can see it feels like all I've done is eat, sleep, eat, sleep. Saturday night was dinner in West Chester then to our friend Daryl's house for drinks with some friends. We had a nice night, it was so good seeing everyone. I started feeling sick Sunday morning which got worse over the course of the day and in to Monday. My flight was Monday at 430. I called my oncologist office that day for something completely different. They heard my voice and I mentioned that I had to get on a plane later that day and they said that was a bad idea that I should stay put until I am feeling better. Well to make a long story shorter, I called the airline and cancelled my flight and went to the doc on Tuesday. She told me I have bronchitis. They gave me a neb tx in the office, started me on a zpack, inhaler, and cough syrup with codeine. She recommended that I not fly until the end of the week. So here I am still in PA.

I really wanted to get back for Friday b/c my friend Jill was coming up from LA to visit and we have our C2 holiday party Friday night. Well turns out Jill has been sick with a stomach bug so she cancelled her flight so now I plan to stay in town until Saturday or Sunday. I am sad that Jill's trip got changed and sad that I am missing the holiday party this year. I know there is always next year:( This afternoon I am going to venture out after being in the house all week. I am feeling better just can't stop coughing. It's been a nice extended stay with my family. I'll keep you all posted when I am getting back to CA.

DONE

Well I am happy to announce that I am done radiation. I finished treatment number 28 yesterday! It was so strange not having radiation today. It really became a full-time job. I told my radiology girls yesterday that I might have to just show up there today just because. They laughed and said that was fine I could come in and hang out with them. I walked out and wanted to scream but the man in the waiting room did not look too happy so I decided to hold it in and then cry once he was out of sight. I had to go back to work for 2 meetings then went to PF Chang's with some of the girls to celebrate. It was a nice end to a long day and journey.

I am having a good day today. I met up with Lynda for lunch and a little window shopping then went for a run. Just got back and called my mom and then got a bath and used one of my bath ice cream's from my Aunt Lynne, so relaxing. I am feeling a little "down" today. I haven't figured out why yet but I assume it is because my life has changed yet again. It has been a looonnngg 6 months of crap and now today it is OVER, scary but good. I know many of you are thinking, you should be happy. Don't get me wrong, I am, but also sad/confused at the same time. Oh well, I'll figure it out.

Wishing it was Sunday at 8:50pm and I am getting off the plane in Philadelphia and being greeted by my mom and dad:) 2 more days....

Almost forgot, I will see my cardiologist tomorrow at 11:30 and hope to never have to see him again. I'll write tomorrow with any important updates from him.

good news

Well the nurse today that did my echo said that she did not see any fluid around my heart. I will no for sure when I see my cardiologist on Friday but I do trust the nurse. This is what she does all day and both times previous she pointed out the fluid to me. My only problem now is feeling exhausted. I slept in today until 930 but could not kick the tired feeling. I came home from my echo and slept a few hours this afternoon. I guess I cannot complain too much b/c this is my last week of radiation. I am happy that my energy was high for the first 5 weeks. Here is to a better, more energy day tomorrow!!!